Faulty Reasoning
by Karre
Summary: Ryou is a sexually frustrated teen trying to figure out what he wants. Who does he turn to in this time of crisis? His friends, of course! Chapter 5 up! When at the movies with a potential love interest, who watches the screen? Not Ryou!
1. Author's Notes and Warnings

Hey y'all! ::bows:: The idea for this fic came to me during the essay portion of my psychology final exam... It was rather unfortunate at the time. ::shrugs::  
  
Disclaimer: Do I really have to say it? ::evil lawyer person nods:: Fine! I don't own Yugioh! I'm not getting paid for this. This only for my own sick pleasure and perhaps for the pleasure anyone else who is reading this.   
  
Warnings: YOAI! SLASH! Whatever you want to call it! And lots of it! If you don't like male on male, don't read. SEX! It is gonna be a major part of the story, so if you don't like it bail out now. I'm going to put individual warnings on the chapters, make sure you read them! Heed these warnings please! I do not wished to be flamed because someone didn't pay attention.  
  
Alright, now that that's out of the way...The couples will be as follows Jounouchi/Ryou, Bakura/Jounouchi, Bakura/Ryou, Bakura/Jounouchi/Ryou (probably), and a side of Yuugi/Yami. There might be some other couples but I'll figure them out as I go. The rating will increase eventually though it was start pretty low.  
  
For anyone who was reading previously, I have returned to my original plot for this story which has no effect on the present chapters. It only means that this will be a deal shorter and quite a bit more cheerfully than I had intended.  
  
Thank you!  
  
~Karre 


	2. Prologue: Pretty Fly for a White Guy

Prologue-Pretty Fly for a White Guy  
  
Warm, soft, and dark. So quiet and comfortable. Several shrill beeps rent the air like rapidly fired gun shots. "Wha!" Ryou sat bolt upright, suppressing a string of curses. //If you didn't sleep so deep you wouldn't be so surprised every morning. Or perhaps learning from experience is too difficult a concept?// his yami said, with his ever present air of superiority.  
  
Ryou ignored him and closed off the connection between their feelings. They could still communicate via the mind link, but Ryou's emotions would remain his own and not filter over to his yami. It was a trick Yuugi had taught him a while ago, before he had confessed his love for his darker half. A very useful talent, too. He made a mental note to thank Yuugi later. Blocking thoughts was a little more difficult, and Ryou didn't bother. It was too early to be thinking anyway.  
  
He rolled out of bed with all the grace of a lame duck and landed flat on his back. "Ow!" //Idiot.// Ryou once again ignored his yami and pulled himself to his feet. He didn't fail to notice his dark half lying on the bed, stretched out with his hands behind his head. Ryou ran a hand through his hair, wincing as it got caught it some knots, and was supremely thankful for the block as he first fought down a pang of jealousy and then a desire to give his yami a fat lip.  
  
As for fat lips, he smiled thinking of poor Jou. He had gotten into another fist fight with Kaiba, and well, Jou, as effective a fighter as he might be, was just no match for the bigger boy. Fortunately, they had found the two before there had been too much damage, and Yuugi's yami and Honda managed to pull them off each other. The only thing on Jou that was really hurt was his pride. Ryou was sure it wasn't helping Jou's self image to walk around with his bottom lip so swollen he looked like he was continually pouting. Or like he had just come from an incredible make out session.  
  
Ryou thought it was cute. Or sexy, depending upon how he viewed it. He was surrounded by sexy boys, really. There was Jou, Seto, Yuugi wasn't so much sexy as cute, but Yuugi's Yami was, not to mention his own yami. He knew it sounded terribly vain, since his yami looked almost exactly like him, but there were some differences. He didn't view himself as especially attractive, but for some reason his yami seemed so.sexy. Ryou groaned as he pulled on his uniform. He couldn't think of another word for sexy. It was really too early for an extended vocabulary.  
  
It was really too early for a hard on. Well, maybe not.//Look at the clock!// Ryou glanced at his alarm.  
  
"Oh hell!" He grabbed his books and ran for the door, nearly forgetting his keys in his rush. He flew down the streets in what must have been record time. Ryou was never much for running, but fear tends to give people wings, and Albatou-sensei scared the crap out of most people.  
  
He ran into the school and bolted down the halls. He wasn't going to make it to homeroom if he went to his locker but he couldn't go to class in his jacket. Yuugi's locker was closer and he tried desperately to remember the combination. Uhhhhh.Zero, thirty-two, twenty-six, right? Right! That's what he hoped it was anyway.  
  
He stopped and began fumbling with a lock not ten feet away from the classroom in question. He botched the combination twice and muttered obscenities under his breath until he was quite sure the air was as blue as his uniform. The door opened and he tore off his jacket and threw it in the bottom with his gym bag, hoping Yuugi wouldn't mind. He sprinted into the class and collapsed into his seat just as the bell rang.  
  
He sighed with relief and ran a hand through his hair. He glanced over to see Yuugi smiling and Jou suppressing laughter. He gave them a thumbs up and shrugged. When he was good, he was good. The teacher walked in and they began morning exercises. Ryou just went on autopilot and began daydreaming about the breakfast he had neglected to eat. Correction, when he was good, he just plain sucked.  
  
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This was so incredibly fun to write! So, waddaya think? Please review and tell me! Criticisms and flames are most welcome.  
  
~Karre 


	3. Basket Case

Chapter 1- Basket Case  
  
This is why breakfast is the most important meal of the day. Ryou sat in study hall, trying not to pass out on his notebook. Skipping dinner last night definitely was not helping. He groaned as his stomach growled. Note to self, he thought miserably, starvation diets are HIGHLY overrated.  
  
"Are you alright? You're not lookin' so hot," asked Jou. Yuugi was looking at him with concern.  
  
"Yes, yes. I'm fine, just hungry. I didn't eat breakfast." Jou nodded in sympathy as Yuugi winced.  
  
Jou began digging in his bag, and victoriously presented him with a slightly flattened Snickers bar. "Super Jou to the rescue!"  
  
"Jou, I love you!" Ryou cried as he ripped into the candy.  
  
"Mai once told me chocolate was the miracle drug but sheesh!" said Jou laughing. Ryou was too busy trying to shove the entire bar in his mouth to pay much attention.  
  
Hakura-sensei glared in their direction, and the trio tried to look as innocent as possible, which was a difficult task considering that having now achieved his objective, Ryou's cheeks were puffed out like a chipmunk, Jou was trying desperately to pull off the innocent look and was failing miserably, and between the two of them, Yuugi couldn't stop laughing.  
  
The teacher continued to glower at them, and if looks could kill the three of them would be wet spots on the floor. They gradually recovered themselves and Hakura-sensei found something else to scowl at. "This day is going so slow! It feels like I've been here for hours and its only third period!" Jou moaned.  
  
"Too right. This morning before school went too fast and now the clock doesn't appear to be moving," Ryou agreed.  
  
"Tell me about it. This morning-" Yuugi began.  
  
"Mister Mouto, would you be so kind as to move your seat. Mister Jounouchi and Mister Bakura would like to study," Hakura cut in icily. Yuugi shrugged and gathered his books, raising his eyebrows at his friends.  
  
"Tight ass," Jou muttered under his breath.  
  
"How would you know, Jou?" whispered Ryou, smiling.  
  
Jou rolled his eyes and shook his head. "Oh, gross! No, never! With Hakura? Eww!"  
  
"Then with who?" asked Ryou, genuinely curious. He wasn't sure if it was the fact that Hakura was a man, or the fact that Hakura was Hakura that turned Jou off.  
  
Jou was completely blindsided. "What?"  
  
"If not with Hakura, with who?" asked Ryou again. "Out of anyone, man and woman."  
  
"If I could screw anyone who would it be? From both sexes?" asked Jou. Ryou nodded. "Uh, Mia is pretty hot. She hates my guts, but given the chance I'd do her. A man?" Jou stared at the ceiling; to Ryou's surprise he was actually thinking about it. "Dunno, it depends. Call me shallow, but looks are semi-important for a good screw."  
  
What would make him say that, unless.Ryou opened his mouth in shock. "Have you-" he glanced around to make sure no one was listening, "have you ever-" Ryou began to look uncomfortable.  
  
"Have I ever?"  
  
Ryou lowered his voice to a whisper, "Have you ever-you know-with a guy?"  
  
Jou eyes widened and he began to blush. "Define you know," was all he said before the bell rang for next period. He swept up his books and stood, disappearing into the halls. Ryou didn't have a chance to question Jou further, which he guessed was Jou's intent. //Well, THAT was an interesting conversation.// his Yami commented, having been shamelessly eavesdropping. Ryou couldn't help but agree.  
  
***  
  
Ryou sat in English, playing with his pencil. He stared at the back of Jou's head, trying to fathom Jou with a guy. He always seemed so.straight. Not that Ryou was put off by any means. He had always assumed Jou had a crush on Mai. But in light of their most recent conversation, well.  
  
All throughout lunch Jou had made himself impossible to get alone, so Ryou didn't get to pursue it further though he had every intention to.  
  
Maxwell-sensei called on Jou to translate a sentence on the board. Jou began a tremulous translation. "The magazine covered the politician's erection scandal," Jou said, the words rolling weirdly in his mouth.  
  
Ryou found himself holding back a fit of laughter. He wasn't sure he had just heard what he thought he had heard. But judging by the look on Maxwell-sensei's face, he had indeed heard it.  
  
"Careful of your pronunciation, Jounouchi." Maxwell continued on with the class. Ryou smiled hugely.  
  
Jou turned around to Ryou, looking extremely bewildered. "What did I say?" That just about finished it for Ryou. He couldn't look at Jou for fear of bursting out laughing.  
  
The girl who sat beside Ryou added, "I don't know, it sounded all right to me." It was over. Ryou couldn't stop himself from laughing like a maniac. Jou gave him this look and he laughed all the harder.  
  
"What's the problem, Bakura?" asked Maxwell.  
  
Ryou desperately tried to stifle his laughter. "There.is no.problem.Maxwell-sensei," he managed.  
  
Maxwell glared, and rolled his eyes. "Good," he said with an air of finality. Ryou quickly swallowed his mirth and sat back grinning wide enough to split his face, waiting for class to end.  
  
***  
  
The rest of the day passed slowly. Phys. Ed was a bore. Enna-sensei was teaching them to play a new game, pickle ball. Ryou could barely contain himself.  
  
Chemistry was little more exciting since most of it was spent listening to the teacher rant about the previous class, particularly about Jou and Honda. Ryou sure the poor man regretted the day he made those two lab partners. Literature was better since he had it with Honda and got all the gory details of what actually happened in chem.  
  
Ryou sighed with relief when the final bell rang. He made his way through the crush of the hallways and wound up next to Jou.  
  
"Free at last!" Jou exclaimed, stretching.  
  
Ryou nodded in agreement. "Uh.Jou?" he asked hesitantly.  
  
"Yeah?"  
  
Now that Ryou had his attention he didn't know how to bring up the subject. "Uh.I want to talk to you about-um," Ryou was at a loss.  
  
"Hey, listen!" Jou cut in. "I'm gonna head out to get a burger since we have no food at the house. You wanna come with? I could always use the company."  
  
"Yes. I'm home alone this week, so I'd rather eat out than have to cook," Ryou was supremely grateful for the save.  
  
Jou laughed, "A man after my own heart!"  
  
They went to their respective lockers and collected their things. Ryou reflected that bringing up the conversation again would probably make him out as a bit of a hentai and more than likely gay. Then he reflected that they were both true. He sighed and grabbed his bag. "What's with the dramatics?" came Jou's voice over his shoulder.  
  
"School sucks!" Jou face faulted. Ryou smiled at him shyly and he shook his head and laughed. They started for Calorie Burger. "I was thinking about study hall." Ryou began, "Have you ever.uh." Jou didn't look offended so he dropped the bomb before he lost his nerve. "Haveyoueversleptwithaguy?"  
  
Jou blinked. "Eh, what?" Ryou wanted to bash his head into a wall. "No, I just couldn't understand you. Just don't talk so fast to the floor. What did you say?"  
  
Ryou was reevaluating his question. Okay, so maybe slept was a bit over the top. "Have you ever kissed a boy?"  
  
Jou smiled and muttered, "busted" under his breath. "Yes," he said simply.  
  
"Who?" Ryou blurted out before he could stop himself. Ryou inwardly flinched.  
  
Jou just laughed. "I don't think he would appreciate his name being handed out."  
  
"Sorry," Ryou murmured.  
  
Jou laughed again. "Don't apologize. Besides, were I in your position I wouldn't be sorry. I'd be pumping you for information so bad you'd grow a handle and a spout." Ryou relaxed. He really should have known better than to expect Jou to get mad at him. He felt slightly guilty about that but his relief overrode it.  
  
They walked into Calorie Burger and placed their orders while Jou kept up a friendly banter. Ryou felt weird. He knew he found Jou attractive, very attractive. But instead of that nervous, jittery feeling he usually associated with being alone with a hot guy, the sexual tension seemed less.tense. Ryou rolled his eyes at himself and decided to finally break down and buy a thesaurus.  
  
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If anyone has read the February (I think) issue of "Shounen Jump" you know all about Calorie Burger. (PANTY TANK!!) Whee! Jou is such a perv! I love it! Uh, yeah, I have no excuse as to why poor Ryou-chan has a synonym deficiency other than that I find it amusing. If nobody had noticed yet.Yes, I have been stealing characters from random anime and making them teachers. I wasn't feeling creative, meh. ::drags Jou in front of readers:: Do it! ::Jou makes puppy eyes:: Aww.how can you say no to a face like that? Please review!  
  
~Karre 


	4. Dirty

Chapter 2- Dirty  
  
Jou stared at his "Quadruple Bypass Burger" and half expected it to crawl away. He poked it slightly and could have sworn it mooed. He made a mental note to stick to pizza from now on. Ryou had apparently decided to give his some personality and was currently applying a ketchup happy face to it.  
  
He sat down across from Jou and took a quick sip of his vanilla "Liquid Heart Attack" shake. "Did you like it?"  
  
Jou blinked. "Like what?"  
  
"When you kissed the boy. Did you like it?"  
  
Jou considered the possible answers and weighed them against the person asking. He trusted Ryou. He had already trusted him with more than Yuugi knew, and being the Ryou wasn't stupid he had probably guessed more than even Honda ever fathomed. But still, Ryou seemed so innocent. He recalled having to explain quite a bit to him once Yugi and his yami's relationship got out. He decided to keep it as clean as possible, at least until he knew where Ryou was going with this line of questioning and how much he knew. "Yeah. It was nice. Like kissing a girl, only not."  
  
"Only not," repeated Ryou, indicating that he had no idea whatsoever what he was talking about.  
  
Jou struggled to explain better. "It was like…you how when you kiss a chic and her lips are really slick and smooth from the lipstick and stuff."  
  
"I've never kissed anyone before," Ryou said shyly.  
  
"Oh," Jou was a bit taken aback. He backpedaled, "Um, well, it was nice. I like it when the person isn't wearing anything on their lips, makes it less messy. That and lipstick sort of tastes funny," he made a face.  
  
Ryou laughed. "Did you and Mai ever…uh," he paused looking for a word.  
  
"Hook up?"  
  
"What does that mean exactly?"  
  
Jou smiled. Ryou's innocence was a little frustrating but it was cute nonetheless. "It's when you…uh," now it was Jou's turn to flounder for a word, "French kiss!" he said triumphantly, pleased that he had found an appropriate phrase.  
  
Ryou nodded. "So did you and Mia ever hook up?"  
  
"Yeah, a couple of times."  
  
"I thought you said she hated you!" Ryou exclaimed.  
  
"So maybe I exaggerated but she doesn't like me much and the feeling is mutual," Jou replied with a shrug.   
  
"And you kissed her?"  
  
"Well, that was mutual too. And besides a little tonsil hockey does a number on stress and we were both a little tense." Ryou raised an eyebrow. "It's not like I slept with her."  
  
"Well that's a relief!"  
  
Jou laughed. "You sound like someone's mom! Loosen up, baby. It only goes downhill from here!"  
  
Ryou smiled and then grew shy again. "Don't get mad, you don't have to answer. I just was wondering-"  
  
"Spit it out, Ryou!"  
  
"Are you a virgin?" he asked quietly.  
  
Jou once again considered his answer. Well, so much for keeping it out of the gutter. He didn't want to lie and there was no point really bearing in mind this was Ryou he was talking to. "No," Jou wanted to find something else to add to it, since it sounded short and gruff. He couldn't. But he anticipated several questions that could follow that statement.  
  
He was disappointed. Ryou looked like he wanted to say something but then glanced away and drank some more of his shake. Jou took a bite of his burger. The silence stretched out between them until Jou thought he'd go insane.  
  
"What were you laughing about in English about?" said Jou finally, desperate to end the hush.  
  
Ryou looked up and laughed. "Oh, that…well, you confused your "l's" and "r's" when you said election and ended up saying a completely different word."  
  
Jou was slightly lost. "What word was it?" he asked, genuinely bewildered.  
  
Ryou looked like he was going to start laughing again. Jou glared at him and when he told Jou he couldn't help but snort .   
  
"I said that?"  
  
Ryou nodded and wiped his eyes. "It would have made sense if we were talking about American politics," he laughed.  
  
Jou smiled. He guessed Ryou was talking about the president who got it on with his secretary or something. He laughed suddenly at the irony. He had brought up the English incident to have a nice sex free topic and lo and behold here they were discussing ex American President's hard ons.  
  
***  
  
  
  
Jou walked home from Calorie Burger with a wide smile on his face. Ryou was more fun than he had given him credit for. After they had gotten off American politics, which he knew terribly little about, they began talking about history class and then about the teacher. Ryou's wry observations were hysterical. He started laughing every time he pictured Albatou-sensei redying his roots and putting in contacts.  
  
Jou knocked on his door since he had forgotten his key. After an interminable amount of time his father opened up. "I was wondering when you'd decide to show up," his father said mildly.  
  
"I went our to eat with a friend since he didn't want to go home and cook and if I went home I have nothing to cook.," Jou replied, stepping out of the cold rubbing his arms briskly.  
  
"It is November. Serves you right for walking around without a jacket," his father chided. "If you get you jacket we can go food shopping now."  
  
"Na, I'm too lazy just now, Dad."  
  
"Good, me too," his father said smiling. "Go do your homework of whatever it is that you do when your in the house."  
  
"You make it sound like I'm never home!"  
  
"You're not but I don't mind, as long as don't hear about your escapades."  
  
"Escapades? Me? Whatever do you mean?" cried Jou as he ran to his room. He threw his backpack on the floor and changed out of his uniform. He glanced at the clock and his eyes went wide. Five-thirty! He had been out later than he thought.  
  
He went back to the kitchen, downed a glass of water and walked into the living room where his father was watching the news.   
  
"How was school?"  
  
"It was alright, if boring," Jou said flopping gracelessly onto the couch.   
  
"Where did you eat?"  
  
"Some burger joint by school. Went with Ryou. Don't know if you met him."  
  
"Don't think I have. What does he look like?"  
  
"Short, brown eyes, long hair."  
  
"Nope." They sat in comfortable silence and then began making fun of the anchors bad rug. The phone rang and they both looked at each other, waiting for the other to get it. "I win, I'm older," his father said.  
  
Jou dragged himself from his seat grumbling about lazy old men. "Hello?"  
  
"Hey Jou-kun!" greeted Yuugi.  
  
"Who is it?" called his father.  
  
"Yuugi."  
  
"Oh, yeah. He called about an hour ago and wanted you to call him back."  
  
"Gee, thanks, Dad!" called Jou.  
  
"What's all the shouting about?" asked Yuugi. "Did you get my message?"  
  
"Just got it. So what's up?"  
  
"Nothing, really. Grandpa just got a new shipment of cards in."  
  
"Cool! Anything good?"  
  
Yeah, there's some interesting stuff I think you'd like to see," Yuugi replied.  
  
"So I guess you've been slobbering all over those new cards all day," Jou said laughing. "Such an exciting life you lead!"  
  
"Yeah, yeah. So where were you?"  
  
"I'll have you know I was being social. I went out to eat!"  
  
"Hate to break the news to you but I have to be social! I'm never alone!" Yuugi defended himself.  
  
"If anyone were eavesdropping on this conversation they'd think you were a schizophrenic!"  
  
"Oh yeah? Well how do you know your not schizophrenic! I could be just figment of your psychologically disabled brain!" Yuugi returned.  
  
"Alright! That's it! You had better start taking the Prozac, again!"  
  
"Not until you start taking your Ritalin!" Yuugi said adamantly.  
  
Jou's father, who had just walked into the kitchen, stared at his son who was laughing madly into the phone. "So the Jounouchi line comes down to this?" He shook his head. "Thank god for daughters."  
  
"So where'd you'd go and with who?" asked Yuugi.  
  
"Got a moo cow special at Calorie burger with Ryou," said Jou flippantly.   
  
"Oh! That's taking you life in your hands! I thought he had better sense than that!"  
  
"What can I say? I used my ever-so-seductive charm on him. Poor boy didn't stand a chance."  
  
"Jou! How many times do I have to tell you about seducing people in fast food places! You don't know where they've been!"  
  
"But I was with Ryou! I doubt he's been anywhere too bad. Unlike you, Yuugi…"  
  
"Me!?"  
  
"Oh yeah! Come on now! We all know what a bad ass you are! I know you've got a tattoo somewhere that says 'Mom'," Jou said.  
  
Yuugi laughed. "You got me. Jou. But I'm nothing compared to Ryou-or 'Ripper' as he's known on the streets."  
  
Jou busted out laughing at the thought. His father, who was back in the living room, heard him cackling and sighed. "Note to self: After he gets off the phone, call the local sanitarium."  
  
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Whee! Chapter 2 is done! I cannot even tell you how much fun that was to write! I just hope it's as much fun to read. I don't know if this happens to anybody else, but the whole things with Jou not getting the message until he was talking to Yuugi is based on reality. My family is pathetic like that… As for the chapter title, its up to you whether it refers to the conversation or the burger joint. ::shrugs:: Oh, and I personally think that Yuugi's tattoo would be one of those hearts but instead of "Mom" it would say "Gramps". A friend of mine told me I was crazy and if it said anything it would say "Yami." Yes, I do have weird conversations with my friends. Anyway, thanks for reading and please review!   
  
~Karre 


	5. Lunatic Fringe

Chapter 3-Lunatic Fringe  
  
  
  
Bakura stood in the doorway of the kitchen watching his normally diligent aibou dawdle over his work. Ryou sat at the kitchen table with a textbook open in front of him, absently spinning a pen between his fingers. His hikari sighed, defeated, and turned on the radio.  
  
That was one of the most annoying habits Ryou had. It bothered Bakura to no end. Ryou insisted that he needed noise to concentrate, Bakura rolled his eyes. Ryou sat back down and stared at the book as if it had just said something offensive about his mother. He snapped it shut and looked off into space.  
  
This was getting a little weird. Ryou never sat around and did nothing. He just didn't. He always found something to do. Bakura watched him for a few more minutes. It was disturbing when people didn't blink for that long.   
  
He couldn't take it anymore. "What the hell are you listening to?" he demanded.   
  
Ryou jumped a little and then slowly turned to look at him. He smiled and shrugged. "I wasn't really paying attention." He paused, and listened a minute. He made a face. "It appears to be a boy band." He quickly got up and changed the station.   
  
"And that was Same Old Song by Sev. Up next we have Saliva, the All American Rejects, and Bowling for Soup," called the d.j. A song started.   
  
"Always," Ryou supplied, though Bakura hadn't asked and didn't really care to know. He glared around the kitchen looking for something to instigate.   
  
He was bored. True, he had lived in a state of perpetual bored-ness for some one thousand years, but that didn't mean he enjoyed it. He turned to Ryou, who was gnawing on his eraser. "That is disgusting," he said flatly.  
  
Ryou took the pencil out of his mouth, looked at it, then offered it to Bakura. "Wanna bite?" Bakura rolled his eyes and looked away, refusing to dignify that with a reply. Then the phone rang, preventing Ryou from offering Bakura anymore ghastly delights. Ryou remained seated and absently tapped the speakerphone button. "Hello?"  
  
"Hey Ryou!"  
  
"Oh, Yuugi," Ryou began reaching for the earpiece but he was too slow.  
  
"I just got off the phone with Jou and he said that you come highly recommended-" Ryou snatched the earpiece before the sentence was finished. Judging by this reaction, Bakura decided this would be worth watching.   
  
Ryou was blocking him from hearing Yuugi's side of the conversation, but he could read his hikari like a book. Yuugi said something, Ryou's mouth dropping open at whatever comment was made. Ryou stammered a protest and spat out "Screw you!"   
  
There was another reply; this had one making him blush like a tomato. "I did not!" A pause. "No, I am not taking appointments! You have a one-track mind! Is sex all you think about? DON'T ANSWER THAT!"  
  
That appeared to be it for that line of conversation, but it was enough. He'd never suspected. Bakura nodded in satisfaction. He wasn't bored anymore.  
  
***  
  
Bakura was channel surfing at record speed when Ryou got off the phone. He sat back and stretched as he entered the room. He gave Ryou a sidelong long, measuring look. "You fucked the blonde?"  
  
Ryou jerked back as if struck. "I did no such thing! Weren't you some great thief or whatever? You should keep the conversations you eavesdrop on straight!"  
  
"I was about to say that I was impressed. I didn't think you had it in you. However, it seems you didn't. I usually do keep my information in good order, but it's so difficult when all the conversations are so boringly similar."  
  
Ryou huffed, "Because you lead such an exciting life!"  
  
"Led," Bakura corrected. "The only one of the lot of you who might have conversations worth listening to is also the only one who's rich enough to have something worth stealing. I imagine the antique silverware would pay nicely on the black market."  
  
"What about the paintings he's got all over the place?" asked Ryou, apparently before he could stop himself.  
  
"Worthless. They're all forgeries."  
  
Ryou shook his head. "Impossible. Somebody sold Seto Kaiba fakes? I think not."  
  
"Oh no? Do you think he'd be able to tell the difference? He'd have to pay someone to check, and if the person who sold him the forgeries paid the art expert more money…" Bakura let his statement hang in the air. Ryou was staring at him with his mouth open, he chuckled. "But we've gone off on a tangent, I believe we were discussing what I will generously call your sex life."  
  
"Yes, and your sex life is on the fast track. You haven't had sex in a millennium!"  
  
"This is true. And you haven't seen any action since what you witnessed at your conception." Ryou didn't have anything to say to that. "You didn't screw him, but you want to," he continued. "When will you?" Bakura felt a small satisfaction at seeing all his barbs hit home.  
  
"I've never even kissed him! I can't just sleep with him!" Ryou exclaimed finally.  
  
Bakura rose to his feet and backed Ryou to a wall. "You haven't kissed anyone. You have no idea what you want," Bakura leaned his face in closer, "what you like, or how to get it." Now their foreheads were touching. "Some find innocence alluring and erotic-" He stood up fully and walked back to the couch. "I find it annoying." He flopped back on the couch, suppressing the urge to look at Ryou's expression. He knew what was happening behind him, Ryou wasn't blocking and he was practically flooding the connection.   
  
Bakura began to channel surf again. Yes, this was going to be fun. He could only have improved on his mood in one way. He stood up again, with a feral smile. "I'm going out," he announced. "Don't wait up.'  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Whew...that was a bit rough. Sorry that took so long, my lovelies. I was very uninspired. But now I'm done with school for the summer! ::does the happy dance:: Oh, by the way, no here has mentioned it, but I know that Jou's daddy is supposed to be a dirtbag and crap but I just think that for my purposes he needs a cool one. He'll have enough problems as it is without a crappy home life and I dont want to drive the poor boy to suicide. Thanks so much for reading and please review, it means a lot to me.  
  
~Karre 


	6. The Stranger

Chapter 4-The Stranger  
  
It was Friday. The best day of the school week. Seto Kaiba sat back in his chair, sulking. Thus far, Friday had sucked. He glowered at the history teacher, Albatou-sensei, the most feared teacher in the school-but only when he wasn't looking.  
  
It had begun late last night when all the intruder alarms started going off for no apparent reason. The security guards and he himself-with the aid of a baseball bat-had checked the premises from top to bottom. And that was no small job. In the morning there was not a single spoon in the house. Some daft maid had apparently taken them to be cleaned.  
  
He tried to look interested in the history lecture and took a few notes for good measure. He slouched further in his chair and reflected on the previous period's events. A muscle beneath his left eye twitched.  
  
It had been Phys. Ed. with Enna-sensei and his latest applied torture, pickle ball. It was a relatively simple concept, all that was required was a few oversized table tennis rackets, a net, a ball, and players. Then you played a large scale equivalent of ping pong.  
  
Seto Kaiba was, naturally, quite good at it. They had spent yesterday learning how to play and today the class was paired off and told to practice while Enna-sensei assisted the terminally spastic boy, Toshiro. He had unthinkingly paired Seto with Katsuya Jounouchi, which naturally resulted in an explosive singles pickle ball game. Even the teacher gave up on the hopeless Toshiro to watch.  
  
It had started off civilly enough. The two had picked up their respective paddles, called dillers. Seto shook his head sadly at that, someone had obviously been suffering from an excess of cleverness. Jounouchi also took a ball, and they stalked off to opposite sides of the court. They squared off and Jou leisurely served and Seto returned just as easily. They both volleyed lazily back and forth in an effortless manner that said, "We can do this all day."  
  
They only did it about ten minutes. One or another of the klutzy girls in the class had tripped and fallen in such a manner that her underwear was exposed to the boys on Jou's side of the courts, causing Jou to return a bit more forcefully than intended. This caught Seto by surprise and so exacted his revenge by putting the ball in a difficult corner. Jou nearly had to dive to save it and so hit it back at punishing speed.  
  
It seemed to have degenerated from there. The students could only watch in terrified awe as the poor plastic ball was beaten furiously between combatants bent on the other's destruction, or at the very least, incapacitation if either managed a good hit on the head. And then, against all odds it managed to degenerate further. Seto shook his head clear as he realized he was narrating the episode like a clash of gladiators.  
  
Anzu had had enough of watching the boys duke it out via a hollow plastic ball and decided to end it. She yelled at both of them, effectively distracting Jou and throwing off Seto's aim. Jou stood unguarded for a few gut twisting, and quite frankly ball shrinking, split seconds as the angry missile sped toward Jou at somewhere below waist height. Seto felt himself cringing even as Jou moved to block, while the rest of the males unconsciously crossed their legs. The paddle came up just in time and deflected it off to the side.  
  
Seto felt an odd moment of relief on Jou's behalf before he heard a yelp and Enna-sensei's horrified groan. They both spun woodenly to see Anzu rubbing her forehead vigorously as a few tears escaped her eyes. Jou couldn't seem to decide whether to laugh it off and give her a hand up or babble apologies like an idiot and pray she didn't kill him. He settled for glaring at Seto.  
  
Seto felt that this merited some sort of comment. "Nice shot. I always thought that girls cried because you hit on them, Jounouchi, not just because you hit them."  
  
Jou looked about to take the bait, but then thought better of it and turned to his friend. He touched Anzu's shoulder in a vague and worried way. She smiled at him and said something, then allowed him to pull her to her feet and escort her to the nurse, apparently forgiven. Why she had let him off so easily was a bit beyond Seto. He would have at least held out for an apology. Enna-sensei had assigned them both a week's worth of detention and dismissed class early.  
  
It seemed that the drama in Yuugi's group of friends was inescapable. He shifted slightly in his chair as he continued to reflect upon his rival's choice of friends. This morning he had been unusually early to homeroom, which he had with several people of Yuugi's psychotic clique, and had settled in to finish his newspaper. Fifteen minutes later Ryou Bakura and Jounouchi stumbled in killing themselves laughing. It hadn't occurred to him then, but there seemed to be a lot of flirting going on between the two. Nothing new, Jou was usually flirting with anything having a pulse, including his friends, or otherwise fighting with it, also including his friends.  
  
But Ryou was flirting back, not very well, perhaps trying to flirt back would be a better term. Still.  
  
Seto suddenly put on a burst of faked attentiveness and scribble a series of nonsensical notes as the teacher strolled about the room calling upon people to answer questions. Albatou-sensei returned to the front on the classroom and continued on from his lectern, apparently satisfied.  
  
Seto recalled what he had seen yesterday. He had been standing at his locker at the end of school when the two had passed by on their way out. Ryou had asked Jou two questions, the first of which Jou hadn't heard and the second he'd given an answer to. Seto had heard both questions. He wasn't the least surprised by Jou's answer, but the fact the Ryou had asked the questions was curious indeed.  
  
He considered what he knew about each of them and smiled. Well, well, well. This ought to be good.  
***  
  
Seto opened the car door and flopped gratefully into the oh-so- comfortable leather seats. He checked his mirrors and pulled out onto the road, happy to be on his way home. The weekend was here, thank the gods. He needed two days away from the nuthouse known as Domino High. He groaned. He'd get to spend some extra time there next week for detention, joy of joys. He drove through the midtown traffic, his patience slowly draining away to the chorus of horns.  
  
He jerked off the main road and decided to invent a new way home. He wound his way through secondary streets and unfamiliar neighborhoods, but he fortunately had an excellent sense of direction. When he finally arrived home he found that he was ten minutes later than if he had sat in traffic, but he was in a far better mood. He went through the house looking for signs of his brother. He eventually found Mokuba in the kitchen, face first in a bowl of soup.  
  
"What, pray tell, are you doing?"  
  
Mokuba looked up from his bowl, dripping chicken soup all over everything in sight. "Well, you see, big brother...thing is...we have no spoons. Or forks. Or knives."  
  
"They're not back yet? It shouldn't take this long! They were gone this morning-"  
  
"Never to return," Mokuba interrupted meekly.  
  
"Excuse me?" asked Seto, feeling his left eye twitch again. He knew he was not going to like this.  
  
"I was talking to everyone before you got home and none of them have touched the spoons, or seen them. And I don't think any of them were lying."  
  
"So what you are telling me is that, last night when the alarms went off someone had broken into the house, stolen the entire fifty thousand dollar set of silverware, eluded myself and the guards while carrying at least sixty pounds of flatware, and none of us had any idea until about-" he glanced at his watch- "sixteen hours later?"  
  
Mokuba grimaced, "When you say it like that it sounds so bad. But, basically, yeah."  
  
Seto closed his eyes and counted to ten. Then counted to ten again. And once more for good measure, then released the breath he had been holding. What a way to shoot a good mood to hell. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Wai! Thanks so much to my reviewers! You all rock! I love you guys!Whoo. I finish this at 1:00 last night. Sorry about the wait guys! Whee! I'm going to the Big Apple Anime Con on Friday! WEEHEE! Alright, I'm sorry. So please review and light a fire under my behind. Oh and any song titles you mention will be greatly appreciated! Please? ~Karre 


	7. I Want You to Want Me

Chapter 5- I Want You to Want Me  
  
Ryou lay on his bed staring fixedly at the ceiling. His thoughts flitted about, trying to create an acceptable plan of action. He had wanted this for a long time, if he could just figure out how to get his yami to take an interest in him. He had said himself that he found shy and uncertain lovers undesirable. He frowned, seeking an answer.  
  
The only way to become experienced was to.well, to put it frankly, he'd have to have sex with someone. He wanted to have his Yami as a lover and he knew he'd have to work his way backward from bedmate to boyfriend. But the idea of losing his virginity to someone as fierce and potentially violent as his yami was slightly unappealing.  
  
"Damn!" He sighed. Eventually he began to gather up will power and energy to roll over and look at the clock. He was going to meet Yuugi, Jou, and Honda at the theater to see a film. His eyebrows quirked as he ran through that last thought again. Hopelessly, he began to smile. "Of course."  
  
Bang!  
  
He jolted upright, huffing. He glanced about wildly, his eyes falling to the doorway. His yami was leaning on the door jamb with a large box at his feet, where he had dropped it.  
  
He was holding a chain at arms length and looked very satisfied. Ryou, now full of energy, had rolled off the bed and made his way over to his other. "What's in the box?" he asked as he reached out to open it. He was terrified that is was the dismembered body of someone who had pissed the spirit off. Just as he was about to open it, a foot slammed down on the box, nearly crushing Ryou's fingers in the process.  
  
"Nothing for you to worry about," his yami informed him with a dangerous glint in his eyes. Ryou decided to leave well enough alone. He had heard the box jingle when his dark stepped on it. No body parts.  
  
The chain swung in front of his face and he went cross eyed. He sat back, shaking his head, and looked again. "A spoon?" A very ornate spoon handle had been bent around a silver chain. Ryou looked up at the holder and back at the necklace. "Very nice," he murmured noncommittally and moved to look at the clock, as per his original plan.  
  
A tsk sounded behind him and he glanced back. "Very nice?" his yami sneered and glanced at the charm. "Very expensive," he corrected and slipped it around his neck, settling it on his collar bone. Ryou felt the cold kiss of metal along his throat and glanced in the mirror. There, at the base of his throat, was a spoon on a chain.  
  
He touched it and commented, "An original piece to be sure."  
  
"You have no taste." The thief picked up his box and placed it in a corner, certain Ryou wouldn't touch it if he wished to live. "And no sense of time," he added as an after thought and disappeared.  
  
"What?" He finally looked at the clock. "Four minutes!"  
***  
  
As he came tearing around the final corner and into view of the theater, he saw Yuugi and Honda staring raptly at a watch and Jou staring in his direction as if waiting for him to appear, which he had been. When he caught sight of Ryou he began to cheer and applaud, egging him on to run faster. Honda looked up and began to shake his head. "He won't make it!" he called.  
  
Jou ignored him and continued to clap. Ryou made it to them and bent over, panting. "Fifteen seconds to spare!" Yuugi announced, causing Jou to crow happily.  
  
"Hand it over, buddy," Jou demanded, holding out his hand. Honda grudging pulled out his wallet and began counting out money.  
  
"What is going on?" Ryou asked, watching the exchange with raised eyebrows.  
  
Jou smiled and riffled through the money handed to him. "It's the latest gambling craze, Ryou Racing."  
  
Yuugi pulled out a ticket and handed it to Ryou. "We got your ticket already. You can pay us back later."  
  
"Let's go," said Honda. "The movie's already started."  
  
"I'm in no hurry. Who picked this movie anyway?" Jou whined as they started into the theater.  
  
"I did," Honda smirked.  
  
"Figures."  
  
"I just love to watch you squirm and act like a girl, is that so wrong? By the way, you're sitting between me and someone else. No walking out!"  
  
Yuugi turned to Ryou. "You'll have to sit next to Jou. I can't stand to torture him."  
  
Ryou laughed, "But you're more than content to watch!"  
  
"Just as long as I don't have to do the actually torturing."  
  
"That's terrible." Ryou paused. "What movie are we seeing, anyway?" Yuugi smiled and pointed to the marquis. "That's an old one. We'll be the only ones in there."  
  
"Exactly."  
***  
  
Pale hands, turned stark white by the chaotic lighting, slid over the perfect expanse of exposed chest. A pinch, a caress, a line of kisses down to the belly button. Suppressed shivers and sighs rose and floated through the theater. Ryou popped a piece of popcorn into his mouth, never taking his eyes off the engrossing scene.  
  
The shirt had been completely removed and the dominant lover chuckled to see the love marks that still remained from their previous escapades. He immediately set about to freshen them and add a few more. "Oh, yes." He placed more nips and kisses along every inch of willing flesh. "Please." He raised himself back up to the neck of his lover and bit down. Ryou jumped, surprised by a sudden yelp and Jou somehow materializing in his lap. Jou whimpered and pressed his face into Ryou's shoulder.  
  
Ryou forcefully peeled his eyes away from the "Yami Yuugi and Yuugi Exhibitionistic Snog-Fest" to glance at the movie screen. He was greeted by what might have been a frightening cameo of a small child, had he been watching the movie at all.  
  
There was another yelp, this time originating from the lighter of the happy couple. Honda was sitting on the other side of Jounouchi and, consequently, almost directly behind Yami and Yuugi, who were a row in front of them. He was trying vainly to ignore the two love birds, or sex rabbits as he often referred to them, but was thus far unsuccessful. Having had enough, he threw a sneaker at them. "Keep it down! You're ruining the movie!" He then reached over and yanked Jou back into his seat, forcing him to watch the movie once more. But Jou refused to relinquish his white knuckled death grip on Ryou's forearm.  
  
The shoe came flying back, hitting Honda square in the chest. "Keep it down! You're ruining the mood!" Yuugi returned. Now free, Jou once again latched onto Ryou, hiding his eyes in Ryou's throat. Ryou sat back and ate some more popcorn. He decided to take Jou to see scary movies more often.  
  
Jou shuddered at a particularly disgusting sound effect and pressed himself more closely to the white haired boy. He ran a comforting hand down Jou's back and nested his chin in the blonde mop. He wondered if he could talk Jou into watching the sixteen hour marathon on T.V. this Saturday. His eyes drifted back to the porn in progress. He'd invite Yuugi and his yami over, too.  
***  
  
"I feel so dirty," Yuugi muttered as they stood in his kitchen, having gone there after the movie. "I just paid for sex."  
  
"You feel dirty! I feel violated!" Honda groaned from the sink, scrubbing his eyes with soap and water.  
  
"You're gonna blind yourself like that," Jou called absently from where he was relaxing at the kitchen table.  
  
"That's fine!"  
  
"Don't feel too bad," continued Jou, now looking at Yuugi. "I just paid to use Ryou's shirt as a tissue."  
  
Ryou giggled and leaned into Jou's shoulder, he was far from complaining about his shirt's newfound uses. Yuugi eyed Ryou and smiled knowingly. "Well, he certainly didn't seem to mind," he said, turning away demurely to hide his expression.  
  
Ryou felt himself blush and Jou shifted in his seat, but didn't pull away. "Honda, you trying to drown yourself over there?"  
  
"Nah," he muttered. "That'll be in the vodka I'll drink tonight."  
  
"Oh no, you don't! You had better be sober when I call you at three o'clock in the morning because I can't fall asleep!"  
  
Ryou had to laugh. Katsuya Jounouchi, the toughest kid in Domino High, completely undone by a horror flick. "Oh, you think that it's funny?" exclaimed Jou, giving him a light shove. "You're next on my 'to call' list!  
  
With Yuugi facing away from the table and Honda water logging himself, Ryou screwed up his courage. "Feel free," he murmured, lowly, so that only Jou could hear. He kissed Jou quickly on the jaw and stood up. "I've got to go home, I'll see you all tomorrow."  
  
Honda grunted in acknowledgement and Yuugi, who was trying to convince the brunette that there was such a thing as a water bill and that it would be forwarded to his residence, waved him off. Jou stretched and stood as well. "I'll go too. I've got a few things to do before work tomorrow."  
  
Ryou's eyes widened in panic and Jou threw him a lazy grin. Ryou smiled back, if a little sickly. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ I know the ending is weak, but I really couldn't think of a better way to end it. Hope the little bit of Yami/Yuugi action was enough to hold you over, Joeysgal. I'm saving the good stuff for later. At the very least, we'll get some full frontal snogging in the next chapter. I probably had a little more fun that I should have with this chapter, but a scared and clingy Jou is so adorable! Review please! ~Karre 


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